Couples Therapy

Couples Therapy in Pleasanton, CA

  • Is your relationship struggling with the shock of infidelity?
  • Are you feeling misunderstood, invisible or constantly criticized by your partner?
  • Are you lacking the sexual and emotional intimacy you once enjoyed with your partner?
  • Have the challenges of becoming new parents or step-parent put a strain on your relationship?
Couples often seek therapy because their relationship has become more conflictual, or has become more distant. One, or even both partners may feel that their need for closeness and intimacy are not being met, and efforts to be understood and reconnect are not working. A lack of connection becomes the norm through conflict and emotional distancing. Both or one partner realizes that they can no longer try to solve their problems without outside help, and recognize that they are struggling with much more than they think is healthy.

Sometimes an affair has been discovered and the couple is in crisis. The betrayed partner feels like the world they knew is crashing down around them. There is pain, anger, grief, and a lack of trust and hope in the relationship. The person who had the affair feels lost, guilty and unable to express what has caused them to look outside the relationship. Both feel lost in what to do and fear whether or not the relationship can continue or whether it is over.

As a couples therapist, my role is to provide a balanced approach for each partner to feel heard, validated, and understood. I work with each side equally to gain an understanding of what you are experiencing through empathy and validation. It is important that we identify your goals and hopes for therapy. I work towards helping you hear your partner and be heard through the use of therapeutic interventions. It is important for me to provide a safe and contained environment to explore the relationship difficulties. If you simply wish to improve or re-build and reconcile your relationship, I will help provide you with the tools and understanding to do that.

While I understand that not all relationships can be or should be saved, I regard with high value the role of family as we are partners/spouses/mothers/ fathers. My identity is as a marriage-friendly therapist.

My theoretical background is in Object-Relations therapy. I believe that our current relationships are often a reflection of the early relationships we witnessed, experienced, and lived. Our inner picture of our major caregivers and how they loved us determines how we love and how we experience love.

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